the life of james

i was looking through the pictures on the new york times‘ recap of the past decade, Documenting the Decade, and a couple photos really struck me. what struck me wasn’t necessarily their beauty, but their meaning.

what strikes me so much about this one is not just the breathtaking beauty of the canadian rockies, but also the photo’s caption, which reads “Since I first visited the Canadian Rockies in the late 1970s, the Athabasca Glacier has receded several miles. However, to put things in perspective, geolocial markers that date back to the 19th century show that the glacier has been receding for centuries. Whether glaciers demonstrate that the past decade is meaningful or not, I leave to Nature to argue. And, while many glaciers are melting, others are stable or even growing in the Himalayas and Alaska. There is no question that there is global climate change. The biggest problem … it has always been so.”

look at the raccoon, staring with fascination at the photographer, as if to ask “what does that thing do?” every time i see a picture like this, it reminds me how precious and beautiful even the littlest of critters is, and how much like us they really are. or rather, how much like them we really are. it shocks me every time i hear people debate whether or not animals can really think or feel in the same way we do. is the raccoon’s expression any different from that of a baby who has just seen something new for the first time? conversely, is our animalistic side so much different from the raccoon’s?

statements like this are a slap in the face to me and everyone who makes a conscious choice to serve their country. many, like me, with degrees from prestigious universities have willingly sacrificed far higher paying jobs in the civilian world, gone far away from our homes and families, have forgone personal comforts that most americans take for granted, and have laid it all on the line, including our lives. even my soldiers who do not have a college degree have left their homes as young as seventeen. these men and women are great americans, who wear their uniforms with pride. the ones worth their salt, anyways.

it is not that we are asking too much of this generation — it’s that we aren’t asking anything of this generation, leaving the entire burden to be shouldered by a select few. what the hell has this generation done to deserve the luxuries it feels so entitled to? twitter?! television?! video games? text messaging?! all while sitting around getting so fat that their very health is jeopardized by their laziness?! so what has this generation done? at most, self-serving, self-gratifying but ultimately empty finger-pointing, protests, and agitation over issues they might actually understand if they were willing to dig deeper intellectually than wikipedia.

for all i’ve heard about the war in iraq and afghanistan, whose war is it really? whose lives has it really impacted? is there a draft? of those who say they suppost the troops, who amongst them has ever raised their hand to serve their country and see what is really going on? do most families even have a single service member amongst them? it is mere lip service. this isn’t this generations’ war, because it doesn’t really mean a damn thing to them, and they have never felt any direct impacts beyond a few minor inconveniences. this is a soldier’s war — a burden and experience shared by them alone, along with their families and the iraqi and afghani people. these are the ones who preserve and embody the american spirit and make america great, not the public.

true, not everyone is called to serve their country in the form of military service, but at least do something! join the peace corps. become a civil servant. plant a public garden. volunteer some time and money to a local food shelter or humanitarian organization and give back to society. check on your damn neighbor. live responsibly. until then, you haven’t earned the right to voice your opinion.

…

and to close it all out, an excellent quote by stephen colbert from TIME’s Top 10 Everything of 2009:

“Twitter went down today. If only there was some short, shallow, self-indulgent way to express my horror.”

—Stephen Colbert, sniffing at the year’s biggest online fad

has it only been a year-and-a-half? a year-and-a-half has been simultaneously three weeks and three years, and eight months has been like a lifetime… i’ve lived and died so many times, i don’t even know which life i’m on anymore.

i still have the dreams — both the beautiful ones and the nightmares. sometimes i still curl up and shake uncontrollably. my brain chemistry all fucked up, my emotions all out of whack. i think i have ptsd.

some wars you fight on the soil of a faraway land, and some wars you fight in the privacy of your own mind. and those wars — the ones waged in silence — are the worst, because no one can even help you because no one knows, and even if they did, they wouldn’t know how. the only thing tangible is the way you wither away from inside.

some sights, some sounds, some smells and touches, some memories you can never forget.

puja, korea, 27 november 2009

so unfortunately, we were working friday over the four-day thanksgiving weekend, because every time i have anything planned, @#$%ing 2ID or 210 Fires BDE comes up with some last minute tasking—in the case of last wednesday, it was division safety stand-down day. consequently, thanksgiving consisted of serving lunch to the joes in my dress blues at the chow hall, followed by dinner at the commander’s house, and finally a blitz back to camp casey to get some sleep before 0430 wakeup the next day.

by 0600 we were on the road to scout out some sites around korea, which generally means within shooting range of the DMZ, along north korea air avenues of approach. we hit our sites without too much trouble, except for one road which was mislabeled on the map and sent us on a two-hour long detour.

the cool part was taking a break and stopping to get some lunch in paju book city, a pretty artsy-looking area north of the han river that runs through seoul. we drove up to simhaksan, which holds a buddhist temple complete with a giant statue of buddha. alas, our fearless driver missed a turn on the return trip, which brought us directly to the DMZ near warrior base, where we do our grenade ranges, and in the general vicinity of panmunjom, the village just south of the 38th parallel where truce negotiations were held to end the korean war. so we kind of took the scenic route, but we made it back, which is all that matters.

also, don’t let sgt epps take photos. he’s a good soldier; a good photographer? not so much. ::james shakes his head::

one of the worst things about being at camp casey is the quarters. basically, i have one room, which serves as my bedroom/living room/kitchen/storage closet, with an attached bathroom. it’s not too bad—i don’t have a roommate or have to share a suite—but it’s definitely not like living in an apartment or condo off post, as married soldiers do. the real worst things are the curfew and the remoteness of post—it takes an hour-and-a-half to get to seoul.

anyhow, sometimes the white cinderblock walls get pretty depressing, and furthermore, i am seriously lacking in storage space. especially in the kitchen. so i took matters into my own hands and attained shelving that sticks to the walls on ultra-strong suction cups, simultaneously increasing storage space and making my room feel slightly more homey…

and, of course, i have “the ex knife set” and a brand new spice rack! granted, most of the spices i went out and purchased for use on my spice rack i have never used, but they look pretty! they also smell good, and i suppose miwa can come over and cook for me =)

my little kitchenette

i bought this waffle maker when i first got to korea, and i still have never used it!

“the ex” knife holder & a jar with 31 different kinds of beans!

mmmm… spices!

okay, first question: why do the civilians get the focus for our operation?! aside from that, check out the sweet footage of the MANPADS kill around the 1:40 mark:

sweet.

avenger killing an aerial target, taken from the tower:

frame-by frame stills of avenger destroying aerial target over yellow sea with a stinger missile, daechon, korea, 11-10-09

click on the photo

range goes hot - 09 november 09

courtsey of 2lt velazquez, from his vantage point in the tower:

range goes hot - 09 november 09

with beautiful weather, the range finally went hot. as OIC of the ammunition point, i remained at the AHA, supervising the issue of ammunition. we fired avenger gunnery tables 6, 7, and 8, expending most of our 10,000 rounds of .50-cal ammunition. the big pain was receiving live rounds back, which totally jacked up my ammo count, as well as being a big pain to relink. all-in-all we relinked over 2,000 rounds.

rehearsals & preparation - 08 november 09

after a good night’s sleep, we awoke bright and early to perform a full dress rehearsal of the range, and i had the guys make some improvements to the ammunition holding area. but with the weather not cooperating (lightning and thunder), we headed back inside for some weapons maintenance and down time, before completing the rehearsals later that afternoon.